Ever remember how your secondary school life was like?

I couldn’t.

I could only remember bits and pieces of it. I remember giving my all for two CCAs tru out my whole sec school life. Coz I had the ability to wayang my way with the teachers, it was inevitable tt I became student councilor (prefect) when I was sec 1. From den on, everything was one hell of a ride. I joined Boys’ Brigade mainly becoz it was very good at publicizing itself as the most popular uniform CCA to joined. Under the charismatic leadership of then Captain Albert Ching, the uniformed grp was extremely popular. All boys who joined this CCA are always the “good boyz” in school, always in teacher’s good books. This particular officer really was something. Somehow he could motivate students considered by most teachers as useless and made them believe themselves to study and turn over a new leaf. of course I’m not one of those la, but there are a few of them who really turn over a new leaf. really like those type of drama serials u watch on tv where the bad eggs turn over a new leaf due to the encouragement of a councilor. It was happening and Albert(prob 30 plus) was tt masterful.

Not long after, I rise tru the ranks to step up both president of student council and CSM of boys’ brigade (CSM meant company sergeant major, highest rank for a BB member). It was mentally and emotionally tiring. Events always clashes and when they do, both needed my presence to be dere and wad not. I really enjoy working my ass off for both organizations. it gave me a lot of power and authority which I seldom flaut coz I know I am always in the spotlight – media glare of gossiping teachers. To top it off, I was the supposedly best class in school( my sec school was just a neighbourhood school). So it seems tt I had it all. Everybody hated or respected mi, maybe they were jealous or cant believe I cud multi-task tt well. (my academic results were not fantastic either). So juggling school work, council and BB were the norms tru out my 4 years. I had only one aim at the end of 4 years – to receive wad I deserved.

There was this ceremony for uniform grps at the end of each year. Every year, prominent sec 4 students who serve dutifully and outstandingly will be awarded for their service. Every year, I see seniors in BB getting awards for their outstanding service. It was much like the Oscars and I knew I was the in running for the Most Outstanding Student award for their respective CCAs. I knew I was gonna get TWO of those Outstanding Awards. Who else but me right? It was going to be my day, MY BIG DAY. The day I finally could have something tangible to put on my shelves at home to remind of my bloody hard work and service for BB and student council.

I received my award for student council, it was expectant of course. It was a no brainer. Definitely more so for the outstanding award for BB. What happened next send my world, my farking pretty idealistic world tumbling down. I was not in the parade square tt day becoz I was the bloody head prefect receiving my award so I was wearing my school uniform. And I expect to receive the BB award in school uniform as well. When the name was spell out “ Toh Meiqi”, I was farking gutted. My stomach was churning I was bloody shocked with a idiotic face plastered on my idiotic face.

That Toh Meiqi, the BOY with a farking girl’s name got the award was not the issue. I had already know it was either me or him. He was my ASM (asst sergeant major) and I had 4 ASM under my charge. In recent weeks to the award ceremony, some how he started wayanging and boot licking the officers. I knew something was not wrong. I was too bloody confident of getting it, coz all my hard work over 4 years for BB was not going to waste just like tt. NO, I WAS FARKING WRONG. So much for my 4 years of serving BB. All a big lie. Like my work and effort was for shit. I felt betrayed, full force on my idiotic spastic face ( which is y it is still the way it is now). betrayed by this organization. Is it becoz I did not accept Christ but he did? Did Captain give him the award becoz he accepted Christ and go on to become a BB officer? (u have to be a Christian to be a BB officer after grad-ing from sec school) It was total BULLSHIT. I never got over this incident. It stayed with me till now.

From den on, my world crumbled. coz I spent so little time with my group of frens due to my other commitments. My sec school frens like Kok Leong, Chin Wey, Baby, Wei Chuan, Chai Chang and Ee Horng were always dere for mi. But I always took them for granted. After grad from sec school, I seldom meet up with them. Not becoz I had no time, but I was too ashamed to meet them. I felt I was not worth their frenship. Really. I am not wayang-ing abt it. I really feel awful some times.

Maybe ttz y in JC, I was so slack.(in the end my CCA record for JC was just a Chinese Ochestra Band – play flute only) I lost all motivation to join something to give my all. It was den I had the craziest and wackiest teenage life. The frens I made dere always condemned me a flop Malaysian. But they dun mean tt, just tt I was pretty flop and my nationality was Malaysian.

I remember wearing my pants like it was gg to drop anytime. (AC pants got no small size)
I remember gg up on stage only once – to receive Highest Score for Standing Board Jump in J2. (think it was 280 or 290 cm region)
I remember having a social circle as wide as my JC class of 15 ppl.
I remember I was not the most shuai.
I remember Meya, Fei and me dragged our team of underdogs into inter-class street bendy semis and lost.(LOUSY refreeing)
I remember scoring a goal each inter-class soccer match I played but we still lost in quarter finals. (coz I din score ma, haah)
I remember how I score each goal. One stab-in goal and other two goals loop over the keeper. (only played 3 matches)
I remember our 60-year-old form teacher Mr Lim See Poy played in our soccer team la!!!(coz dunno which idiot fly our plane and went home)
I remember how Mr See Poy score an own goal (maybe on purpose haha)
I remember looping the third goal in the final second that send us tru the quarter-finals.
I remember how all the guys in our soccer team flock towards and carry me like we won the World Cup and See Poy thanking me for scoring.
I remember that felt like pure ecstasy – scoring a winner in the last second.
I remember how pathetic our class was (mostly were muggers) but Fei, our class monitor made our lives in JC (Jieling, Alisa, Yiping, Meya, two Bettys, Nick, Kiew Ping and Barry & QL, Rabin) really fun.
I remember how Fei gel us into a class despite our different priorities and background.
I remember all these more than wad I can recall during my Sec School life.

I got to know true frens, whom I cherish and am not afraid to feel ashamed coz I never took them for granted. I was just a regular JC student, not some high profile big shot. Even cherish more when we lost our class monitor. This was the saddest chapter in my life. Something I will only remind myself why we shud take the effort to say hi and tok more. Why I always spew lame jokes is coz I dun wan to make it into a habit of turning “hi bye” frens. Unless u r really not worth toking to, u are under “hi bye” frens. a lot of ppl dun realize tt showing concern more than a normal guy shud is nth weird. It is just being more concern and u shud feel proud to have a fren who bothers to ask how r u and spew some lame jokes at u. It is not gay to be more concern and sensitive. That being said, all the life lessons I learnt were down to this simple truth – Nothing last longer than friendship.

So what if I din get the honory award?
So what if I lost to a guy with a feminie name?
So what if I had my name etched high on the council board in sec school hall? (yeah, think still dere, hur hur)
So what if I only join chi ochestra just to make my chi teacher happy?

It ain’t matter when u have frens, few or plenty, who care more abt u than wad u have achieved or done.